Green Porno

OH great...the end of another year.

"I will be a vegetarian this year."

That was 2008. And that's the only New Year's Resolution I've ever fulfilled. That I can remember.

Oh...and I cheated. (At least once, but no more than twice.)

So for what it's worth (a shrug and a sigh), here are my 2011 New Year's Resolutions:

1) I'm quitting smoking. I don't want to, and I know I'll slip from time to time (just let me), but I'm done with the crippling routine.

2) I'm quitting Facebook. I quit for a while, but my iPhone brought me back to semi-obsessed-internet-stalker-status. No more.

3) I will stop "composing" and "thinking about but then not composing" blog entries. I will stop thinking about this blog as if it were a composition; an essay for the world. I will post whatever the fuck I want here. That includes the word FUCK and other foul language that I use but pretend I don't. That also includes anything that I find interesting, albeit disturbing or sexual or offensive or weird, that I often refrain from sharing out of fear that someone will think ill of me.

This is part of a larger resolution of mine that's been a long time coming. I'm trying to close the gap between who I am and who I project. I quietly belittle others who talk about this, (mostly because they wave the "high and mighty" flag) but it's always been a problem for me. And it's true for most people, I think. It's not always a "problem" but the constructed self is always there. There is a rift between who we are at home alone and who we are out in the real world. And the internet adds a whole 'nother fucked up layer to that.

So. Anyway. I'm gonna do my best to be one whole. I'm not composed, and neither my blog shall be.

Love books. Fear the Kindle.

Thank you Daniel Handler. And thank you Green Apple Books. (I miss you!)